Father God…

Instead of saying “God please remove this”, say “God preserve me in this, so that I may learn and endure what you are teaching me”.

Spiritual affliction is hard. If we were able to grow without it, I’d be the 1st to choose to. But struggling with something is better than holding it or feeding it.

If the Bible says that we all face trials of many kinds, why do we ask not to?

I remember a season when I was dealing heavily with suicidal thoughts, I would constantly question God. I’d question why He would allow me to struggle in this way. Doesn’t He want me to be free of that? Wasn’t He able to remove it, all He had to do was say so, and it would be.

Truthfully, I wasn’t questioning my circumstances, like I was claiming I was. I was really questioning His nature. I was questioning who He was.

Then one day my son got really sick, they hooked him up to these machines and said they needed to draw blood and run tests.

I remember him crying out to me, scared. He begged me not to let them draw his blood and said that he couldn’t understand why I’d allow them to hurt him. As a parent, that hurt deeply. Because I knew that I would easily take his place if I could. I’d take the sickness, I’d die in his place without hesitation. But in his moment of fear, his circumstances forced him to question my love for him. His fear had him question me.

And now, looking back, I remember saying to him, that sometimes as a parent, you have to allow and at times, look past the pain and focus on the outcome. I knew that his pain was temporary, but what was more important to me was his wellbeing.

That day, I was convicted about only seeing Him as this supernatural God, who chooses to ignore my sufferings, and not see Him as my father. The one who would die for me without hesitation. That trial helped me see Him as my parent, who held me close. Who would never leave my side. But also as someone who not only loved me, but who was orchestrating things outside my understanding.

So, I’d like to encourage you if you are facing trials, and you feel as though God is far from you. Or if you find yourself in a season that has you questioning His motives, that you stand firm on this…

As God, He is supreme and all powerful. Everything bows down to Him.

But as our father, He’s our refuge in times of need, not our enemy. When hardships and trials come (as they always will) believe that He is for you and not against you. That sometimes as a parent, we have to go against what our kids want, not because we have the authority to, but because we have the responsibility to. We know whats best for them, even when they doubt or can’t see it.