Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Lean NOT on your own understanding…
If there was a key takeaway in that verse, I’d say it was that part. Not leaning on what you understand.
Out of all three of the reflection questions given, “do I truly trust in God’s plan, even in times of uncertainty & adversity?”, was the one I feel as though I’ve been asking myself outside of this 30-Day Bible Reflection Challenge. So, I guess you can say, God is getting straight to the point. Do I truly trust Him? And more specifically when it’s harder to do so?
Honestly, as I sat with that question, a season came to mind where it was harder for me to say I did. I was dealing with an internal battle that was unseen to everyone around me. That mental state was a contradiction to everything I understood in terms of being a “biblical christian”.
The worst part being that this specific internal battle, according to genetics, science and (DSM-5), was outside of my control. Meaning no matter how much I fasted, prayed & believed for my healing, this was my path. I wrestled heavily with that reality. I couldn’t come to terms with knowing that this specific battle was something I would not be able to rationalize or strategize against. That’s a hard pill to swallow. Knowing that everything I understood logically about who God created me to be, was physically impossible to achieve on my own.
As I reflect on that time, I felt cheated. Like God thought of every way possible to make my path harder. I even believed at one point that everyone around me was given the very basics for life, social connections, and communication to help aid them in their path for biblical living and God thought it would be best that I would be created without it? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that in order to love on His people, you have to connect with them.
But, for the sake of time, I’ll just say the result of that season ended in countless hours with a therapist trying to convince me to take depression medication. Which just so we are clear, I am not against therapy or medications. Especially in a time where mental health is no longer met with grace or compassion, but rather accusations of not praying enough or it being a direct result of actively living in sin. Which is weird considering we are told to confess these things in hopes to be healed from them. So, if we can’t go to the church for help, where can we go to? Tic Tok? Google MD? Lord, help us. lol
So, to say that I trusted what God was doing, clearly wasn’t the case. Which leads me back to my first point. Not leaning on what I understand to be true. Although genetics, science and (DSM-5) can logically and statistically be true, it doesn’t have the final say.
The Holy Spirit revealed to me in that season, that even though the world says what I can and can’t do logically, His word proves that I can. Which only builds my faith and trust in Him.
I am not certain of where you are at in trusting God in times of uncertainty, but what I will say is a promise I read in His word during that time. It can be found in Isaiah 55:8-9. It says that His thoughts are not our thoughts nor are our ways, His. As the heavens are higher than earth, so are His ways higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than ours.
I pray that brings you the same comfort it brought me. Knowing that what we think or know to be true is not the deciding factor in God’s plan for us. When you trust in who He has proven to be time after time, you learn to trust His plan for you too. Why? Because if you don’t know who He is, how could you trust in what He can do? It’s never been about the battle; it’s always been about the one who goes before you.
Sinners4christ 
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