Day 2 – God’s Unconditional Love

My reflection question for day 2 was if I understood & accepted God’s unconditional love?

I had previously reflected on this question a while back and even wrote down my thoughts on the topic, I just never got around to posting it. (Which I apologize for not keeping my word & following through with my own 30-Day Bible Reflection Challenge consistently. God is having me workout my prayer for being more consistent & if it’s by shame, so be it.)

Anyways, everything I had wrote before about His unconditional love was biblical & true. But as I began to read over it & type it up, I suddenly felt convicted.

When I asked myself why I felt convicted? The Holy Spirit reminded me that perspective came from a place of understanding. Those examples I shared testifying to His love and the scriptures I gave to support my view, came from a place of freedom. Those words came from a place of someone who has experienced His unconditional love firsthand.

Don’t get me wrong, although I am confident in His love for me, I am equally aware that my love for Him comes only from a place of gratitude & a deep awareness of how much I needed Him. Will I gladly walk in accordance with His commands? Yes. Will I spread the good news with anyone, anywhere, if permitted? Yes. Will I praise Him in the valley & will I sacrifice my will for His? Yes, but as much as I am willing & grateful to, I’m only reminded of a time when I wouldn’t.

So, to answer my question. Yes, I have accepted His unconditional love, but I will never understand it.

The bible says, “we love, because He loved us first.” Which does the opposite of stir up gratitude, but rather floods me with shame. Because truth is, without His unconditional love for me, I wouldn’t be willing or able to do half of the things I said I will gladly do now. Because had I not accepted His love, I would still be a slave to my own will & repulsive sinful nature.

Whether we realize it or not, our love for God is conditional, regardless of how pure in heart or selfless we become, it’s not who we are without Him. That truth, wrecked me in the worst way. To know that our love for Him can be dependent on things, isn’t the worst part. The worst part is how our love is shown clearly when prayers don’t get answered the way we expected them to. Or when we are not recognized in the way we feel like we should be. Or when our trials exceed our faith in His promises. Our love is cheap when those closest to us die in their sin despite our intersessions for them. Or when He asks us to die to ourselves daily or live in a way we are called to. Or even more so when we feel like He is far from us. You see, our love is like the scripture found in Luke 7:47, where it says, “therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” Its based off of what He does & doesn’t do.

Why? Because our love is conditional.

Now on the other hand, His love is unconditional & sacrificial. His love is the type of love that has not only been displayed but proven. And although I know His love now, and a result of it, you see this restored & redeemed version of myself, it was the lost, broken & wicked version of myself He had in mind when He sacrificed His life for mine. It was Judas, Barabbas & the Pharisees He had in mind. It’s the Roman soldiers who nailed Him to the cross, the ones who beat Him & spit on Him, that He had in mind. It was the tax collector. Not the righteous, but the sick. His love is for the unlovable.

The unconditional love that God gives, is the type of love that is given when least deserved. It’s the type of love that changes & transforms. It’s a love that is not moved or influenced by anything. It’s who He is.

And even though I know God is deserving of all worship & any sacrifice I can give. And although I know He’s worthy of my obedience & worthy of any persecution that comes with following Him. And although I know He’s worthy of all the honor & praise that my brain & heart can comprehended. A truth I know so deeply, that it has brought my dry bones to life. It’s still only because I accepted His love 1st.

If I am certain of anything, it’s this. Even if I tried to deny His love & refuse the freedom that comes from Him alone, it can’t change who He is, what He’s done or what He will do. His love is unconditional. Meaning its not subject to anything. And although I am undeniably grateful that I have this perspective of Him now, I pray that when it’s all said & done, that awareness of how cheap my love is in comparison, never dies.  Because even though I desire to one day be able to love Him like He has always loved me, I know that I’m not capable. His love can’t be achieved, only received. Which luckily for us, It’s not what what we understand about it though, its about what we do with that understanding.

I’m convinced that gratitude is the closest you can get to a love so pure. But gratitude without action, is like love with conditions. It’s cheap & dependent on a perspective you could never have without Him.