Day 18: God’s Love in Trials.

His love is hard for me to reflect on. I have prayed often to see His hand moving in my life, and as a result, I now clearly see His love for me even in trials.

For me, I struggled as a child with not knowing love or what it meant. This established the belief that there wasn’t a God, because if there was, why would He allow suffering? It took me a long time (35 years) to realize that we suffered at the hands of our sinful nature, rather than at the hands of God.

In all honesty, it was easier for me to accept that there was no God than to accept that there was a God who could withhold solace. I repent at the very thought because the truth is worse.

In the famous words of Tina Turner, “What’s love got to do with it?” Suffering, that is. Well, it’s simple: as I reflected on His love in trials, the Holy Spirit pointed out two important things. One is the suffering I experienced before my salvation, which was a product of living in a fallen world and the consequences of sinning against God (Romans 5:12; 1 Cor 15:21). The other is the suffering we receive as we partake in Christ’s sufferings (1 Peter 4:13), which is a result of going against evil.

Having now experienced both, I can say that sharing in His sufferings is far worse. That’s because, to me, our suffering and His suffering exist because of us.

God had to have suffered as He sent His only Son to die on the cross for us because He loves us. Jesus Christ suffered our death because He loves us. He overcame death for us. He left His kingdom for us. He humbled Himself to become like us, only to be rejected by us. And still, He left His Holy Spirit as a comforter for us. All for the sake of love.

Even in our trials and suffering, He is close to us, never leaving or forsaking us. His love is far greater than any trial this world throws at us, greater even than death, because even in death we gain.

The thought of how I longed to experience the love I know in Jesus Christ overwhelms me. It builds me up & tears me down simultaneously. And as I read scripture, I now understand why I longed for love. We are made in His image, and that suffering was only a reflection of the suffering He must have endured longing to be loved by us.

There are many trials we will face in this life. If it were not true, His word would not say so. But as I write this as just a mere human being who now knows the love of Christ, I’m confident that I won’t experience a suffering greater than knowing what it cost Him to be loved by me.