Safe in His Love

“The Lord is my refuge and my fortress; my God in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:2

I remember times where I would be mad at myself because I had to trick my mind into feeling “safe”. When I was in a crowded room or in a public place I was told by a psychiatrist that I only needed to take a deep breath, place both feet flat and firmly on something solid. Added points if I can tell myself “I am safe”.

For the longest time I believed that I liked being alone, but I learned at an early age that you are less likely to get hurt if you’re alone. So, it wasn’t the solitude I liked, but rather being in an environment that wasn’t full of unpredictable, unsafe or emotionally unstable people.

Over time I guess I realized I’m just safer alone.

The hard part is while solitude protects us, it also separates us from the people God placed in our lives to help strengthen and guide us.

As an adult I use to grieve the child I never got to be, because I never knew a time where I wasn’t subconsciously seeking a safe place to be.

Little by little the mind games with myself lessen and I don’t have to trick myself into believing I am safe. I no longer need to convince myself because now I am able to remind myself something I wish someone would have told me as a child…

He is my safe place and although people can be unpredictable and life may be ever changing, He is not.

He is consistent, trustworthy and in those moments where I feel myself seeking refuge, the Holy Spirt now places my feet on solid ground and when I reach out and grab on to His truth, it’s solid. And for the first time in my life I hear His voice saying “you are safe”.

I hope you hear Him too.