The process of “sorry”.

I’ve always had a hard time with understanding why people assume that accepting someone else’s “sorry” is easy. And when people can’t accept their “sorry” instantly or without a second thought, that makes them less of a Christian. If anything, it proves that we are in more need of Christ then we realize.

Accepting a sorry is not just accepting that someone is sorry for what they did to you, but accepting a sorry is acknowledging that they allowed themselves to be vulnerable enough to allow someone else to hurt them. To them, in their own right, might be a sign of weakness. Who wants to accept that they are weak?

Accepting a sorry for some is acknowledging the fact that they weren’t strong enough to move past what happened. Not only do they have to accept that they weren’t strong enough to do it, but accepting that their emotions got the better of them. Who wants to accept that they are not in control of how they feel?

Accepting a sorry for some is acknowledging how someone else’s actions has planted a seed of resentment deep inside of them. Now because of a choice that someone else made leaves a harvest of spiritual weeds that they didn’t ask for. Not only did they not ask for it, but will now have to tend a pull these weeds out. Who wants to accept that the labor will be long and tiresome and work at something that costs more then it gives?

The point I’m getting at is accepting the sorry is not about the person giving it, but about the person receiving it. When people get hurt by others, their actions exposes a lot about that person to themselves, things they were never prepared to face nor accept. They say that forgiveness is not for them, but for you. And in my opinion I have yet to hear a truer statement.

One thing I have learned by being hurt from others is to be thankful for those moments. Because bringing things to light, like accepting things about yourself, only exposes darkness that we deal with internally. Giving us a chance to be more Christ like. We heal when we can acknowledge those things. And healing brings the growth we need to no longer be in bondage by the same things over and over again. Like struggling with accepting a sorry. Because the real struggle is acknowledging we can’t forgive.

I strive a lot harder to not judge those who have a process to deal with “sorry”. Not because I agree that forgiveness should be a “process” but an understanding of how hard it can be spiritually. Because I can realize now that the battle was never with the culprit but always with ourselves. Regardless we must never forget that forgiveness is a requirement for all believers, even if it’s not easily achievable and darn near impossible without Him. Which I guess makes the scripture that “with Him all things are possible” an even truer statement we can stand on.