The Space Between

Lord, I have found myself in the space between Your truth and mine. Just when I thought I was at a place where the two were one, You prove that Your ways are so much higher than mine.

I can no longer see one moment in my life where Your hand wasn’t there. The more I grow in Your love and Your will for my life, the more my flesh grieves. I know You see me, Lord. The real me. Yet You call me still.

You know I will fall short. You know I will fail. You know I will stay silent when You tell me to speak. You know I will be led at times by my emotions rather than Your Spirit. You know that I am, at most, just me.

The one who goes periods without reading Your Word. The one who, at times, has done nothing more than receive my salvation, and yet Your goodness chases me down. The one who sits in grace and mercy until I overflow, yet does not extend it to others at times.

I question how differently You see my sin and my heart. When I judge myself for it, I am grieved that Your presence remains. Because in this place between Your truth and mine, I can’t escape what makes me different from You.

Not that I want to be God, but I desire to be free. Free from this flesh, free from the will within me that would so quickly take the opportunity to forsake You.

And yet, You have never abandoned me. You have never turned Your ear from me, nor withheld Your love.

And in return, I stay.

Because I have nowhere else to go but You.