I pray for God to teach me His word. Make it clear to me so that I don’t lean on my own understanding. Because like most people, I too have my opinions and emotions that I deal with. When I get the chance to speak to His people (lost or saved) I have always been real transparent with the fact that I constantly have to wake up every day and choose to take my thoughts and make them captive to the word of God. For me, my past was definitely a bondage in my life. And even though that person is dead and gone, she is still a constant reminder of God’s perfect grace.
Before Christ saved me I was a prisoner to my mind. Dealt with depression and anger and was overwhelmed with anxiety. The only way I believed that I could be freed from that was by death. In a sense it was true. I had to die in the spiritual to now have life in Christ. Was it easy? Certainly not. So hard in fact that God had to do it for me. But the day I handed over my life for His will was the day I was complete. Jesus set this captive free and like Lazarus, I walked out of the grave.
For everyone it’s different though. People come to Christ for a million reasons. For me, I was in need of a savior. I was killing myself and my purpose. I was like an infection. Spreading and killing everything. But that reminder helps me to thank God for being my healer. The world broke me, but He came and restored and redeemed it all. I wasn’t anyone special. I was just someone depending on God.
I was always one thought away from freedom. One sin away from salvation. It was by reading the word of God did I understand that His love for me was infinite. That He didn’t die for the people who had their life together, but the messed up ones like me. Do you know how much that meant to me? That despite who I was, He thought I was worth dying for. When I didn’t see a reason to live, He already had a plan and a purpose for me. Blows my mind every time I think about it. Why? Because He is so much more than we can comprehend.
Listen, I know what it feels like to be in the pit. I know what it feels like when there is no hope or ending to the pain. I have scars too that no one else can see just God. I been on the other end of the gun barrel one second away from losing it all. I been lost in drug addiction with no way out. I’ve been where you’re at. In more ways than one, but God met me right there. And my God will meet you right where you’re at too. Just call out to Jesus and tell him you’re sorry for trying to live life your way. For leaning on your own understanding. That you know that you’re a sinner, but you need His help. Tell him to live in your heart and He will. Jesus Christ saved my life and He will save your too. Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door will be opened. Have faith my brother or sister. God will intervene and I am living proof of that. My God is more than my words, my testimonies, my past, my present, my future. He is much more than anything we could gather in our own thoughts, but there has not been one day where he has not revealed to me through his spirit who He can be. He’s whatever I need for that moment. Isn’t that a God worth knowing? Think about.
Love you. God bless.