When I look back from where I was it brings me to tears, because honestly i cant believe i survived throughout those years.
When I was young I claimed that there was no God at all, because if there was there would be no way he would let me be so lost.
Where was he when my mom left me, and my sister was being abused; those lonely nights where i cried out loud frustrated and confused.
So many bad things where happening in a place that was supposed to be home, without my mom we were in hell and we were all alone.
Where was our dad, why didn’t he just come and take us from this place, just until my mom got on her feet and she could learn to make her way.
No matter where we went, the bad life was following us everywhere, drugs, sin, pain, doubt, it was always there.
We all developed scars in places that no one else could see, and mine were deep within and i could not ever get free.
Then one day my baby sis convinced me to go to church, she told there was somewhere there who could heal all my hurt.
As i watched her sing this song and tears streamed down my face, for the first time in my life i felt like i was in the right place.
i had demons deep inside that would not let me free, drug addiction, alcohol, doubt, you name it, it was raging inside of me.
I talked to Jesus for the first time weighed down from the past, please God just let me make it that’s all that i ask .
They tell me that your a healer, you deliver those in need, you’re a refugee and a safe haven for those who believe.
I need someone to love me despite all my mistakes, some one to show me that i can live a life that’s really great.
They tell me that you love me, and that you wont ever leave, and though I’ve experienced abandonment, that you wont forsake me.
I have no trust left inside this broken soul, I’ve been left with disappointment, but i have no where else to go.
I still remember that talk I had with God that day, I remember it vividly because that’s the day my life changed.
I am just a sinner like everyone else, the only difference is, i depend on God because i cant face life by myself.
He set me free, and my past doesn’t weigh me down, in fact it only makes me grateful to God for the peace that i found.
He is all those things that i have always heard, and the truth of who he is can be found only in his word.
I have a story just that needs to be told, so that others can know of a savior when they are lost and alone.
Your past in not the present, and your not any of those things, you were created in an image that is above everything.
Don’t loose yourself trying to get away, there is someone who fights your battles all you need to do is pray.
Cynthia M. Benavides 