If i never recieve anything else from God, everything he has given me thus far will always be more than enough. there are days where my flesh is weak, but my spirit remains strong in Christ. I remember days where my foundation was built on sand, and like a two minded fool i was unstable in all my ways. there are days where there isn’t enough things to do for the Lord, but some days i just sit and think of all the things he has done for me. everything from seeing me in ways that no one could, to freeing me from the very life i hated. I had to learn who i was in Christ, because I no longer cared about myself.
On days like these…at my lowest, God has made me able to see his goodness. On days like these i feel that he is closer to me. I need days that bring me to my knees because thats when i feel God’s presence the most. And because of everything that Christ has brought me through, not only this year, but my whole life, I can say with complete faith that He is with me. I couldn’t say that last year. He was always there, but I couldn’t see Him and i doubted everything i have ever learned about my God. So much so, that it hurts me to even write that about Him, because I owe him so much. All i can do is give him back the life he gave me and use it to do whatever he feels i should.
I wasted so much of my life doing things that were not of him, when all i had was Him. im the first one to testify that our lives keep us from God. Whether its a personal relationship with someone. Sin that we can not forgive ourselves for. A life style that is not pleasing to the Lord. Friends that corrupt our character. Whatever it is, thats what we choose to serve instead of the God who loves us despite all of those things. The one who died so that we can be free. He tells us to hold on to the memories of all the things he does so that we can remember them in our time of need. Maybe i need to remember him alot, because not one day goes by that i dont remember or thank him for what he has done for me. A sinner. We may sin differently, but we are all the same in sin. He loves us reguardless. His love is unconditional. Not like us who love with condition.
Im glad that he shows me everyday who he is. compared to us, Hes far more than we will ever understand. And the highest that you think of him, is nothing compared to who he is.
“If i say “surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night,” Even the darkness is not dark to you, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to you. For you formed my inward parts; you wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for i am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well.”
Psalms 139: 11-14
Cynthia M. Benavides 