I have moments, where I sit and try to wrap my mind around the love Christ has for us. I think often about where He found me, and where He has brought me. I will never understand what He saw, but I thank Him for showing me what love really is.
This walk has taught me a number of things. It taught me that you can’t be half way in. You can’t talk and not walk. And you definitely can’t fake who He is. This journey has been painful. It’s been beautiful. It’s been nothing that I have ever experienced, and everything I never deserved. One of the scariest things I faced, was not the persecution. It wasn’t the judgement and it wasn’t even the fact that most days I will stand alone. It was having to face who I was. It brings me to tears as I write this. I will never understand why He thought I was worth that sacrifice. That’s just the love of Christ.
Truth is, I can never un-learn all the things the world has told me about myself. I will never forget the mistakes that I made. I will always fall short. The only difference now, is that I finally know what love is. I finally know who Jesus is. He has transformed my heart. It’s no longer dead. I feel things I have never felt and I see things that I have never seen. And I know without a shadow of a doubt that there is someone in heaven that bends his head down to hear my prayer. I see His hands in my life. I don’t understand everything He does, and I don’t know every answer. But what He has planted in my heart can be grown in the darkest places. That’s the love of Christ. Love that can not explained, only felt. A love that surpasses all understanding.
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.