A new blog, and it’s not Monday! Yes, it’s true. If I can be honest with you guys, I went through a season where I lost my desire to write. For a while I just lost interest. The weird thing was I felt conviction for not writing, and it would sometimes bring me down. If this is the gift the Lord has given me, why am I walking away? It bothered me so much, that I blurted it out at bible study one Thursday night. I asked Abel (our teacher) why I lost my desire to write. He told me that God was bringing me through a new season, and that God was giving me new things to write about.
Since then, I have been writing again. But with all great wisdom, comes experience. Meaning you have to go through things to share about them. So when Abel told me that, I believe what he really meant was I was going to face different situations and those would be the things I minister to others through writing. So I decided that I would write once a week. Every Monday I would write about something new, but God spoke to me last night at prayer. Literally wrecked me. When did I start writing on my time? Once a week, like I’m doing you guys a favor. I want my writing to minister to hearts all over the world, but on my schedule? People go through things every day. Depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, problems in their marriage, problems at home. Every day someone wants to end the very life God gave them. When did I start writing when I feel like it?
Yesterday at prayer a young lady walked in…she went up for prayer and said that she has been feeling suicidal again. That her depression and anxiety has been through the roof. I prayed a long side an elder for her but I felt so much conviction. My heart broke for her. I hugged her and said not to give up, that I had been where she is at, and God will pull her through. When I went home that night, I laid on my floor in the dark and prayed for the women in our church. I had to ask God for peace to sleep because I just felt horrible. My heart was aching, not only for that young lady but for everyone everywhere going through something. If my blog helps anyone at any time, then I am blessed to be able to write to you. If I can share with you guys something that I went through and it ministers to your heart, then praise God that he gave me a purpose. All I ask is that you guys keep me in prayer, that I always write when I’m lead to, and not when I have time. God is present every moment of our lives, He never misses a second. But how will you know, if it’s never said. Or in my case, ever written.
Cynthia M. Benavides 