I use to think that no one understood all the crazy thoughts i had. No one understood or would care that I was a mess. I was just another lost soul with no where to go. The world broke me down piece by piece. At one point there was no remains, just pieces of a girl that at one time was OK. Worthless in the eyes of everyone I came across, I had nothing left to give. I was lost in this world with no way out. I tried different ways to cope. Smoke this, drink that, try this. What was there to loose anyways. Right? I was already gone. Blah blah blah. I had your typical “I’ve been a victim of life” story. I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but its true. I had a hard time NOT to see my self as a victim of life. I blamed everything and everyone for the reason I was lost. At one point I blamed God too. I blamed him for allowing me to suffer. See, i only knew the basics of God. I knew there was a God. I knew that he could do anything. But i didn’t know why he forgot about me. I never came to God and asked him. I only blamed him. Part of being human is going off of things we don’t understand. When we don’t understand; its either not true, or its something we are not meant to have. When I look back on those critical times in my life, I wish I asked him along time ago. See, it wasn’t until i asked God that i learned that there was a way out. I just didn’t know at that time. I didn’t know i had a savior. I didn’t know that Jesus Christ was the way, the truth and the light. I didn’t know that he comes just in time; every time. Or that he goes before me to fight my battles. And i also learned that the “basics of God” doesn’t even scratch the surface of all that he is. I didn’t really have a specific topic to write about, but i just felt like reminiscing a little bit. The devil tends to bring my past to my remembrance A LOT, but it only makes thank God for answering me. For showing me that he never forgot me. I just didn’t know him. How do you trust someone you don’t know? Or why would you? Yeah I know I can’t quote a lot of scriptures off the top of my head or live up to who he wants me to be everyday. But I know that I love him. I love him deeply for all that he did. For not only picking me up piece by piece, but freeing me from myself. I guess what I am trying to say is the “basics of God” is not enough. The world will never make sense until you know who God is. I know its not easy to see our self as anything but the victim, especially when the world has been bad to us. But speaking from personal experience, there is so much that God is capable of doing for us. He can bring you straight through the fire, victorious. All you need to do is ask God to show you who he is. Don’t blame God for everything you have not asked for. We all tend to think God doesn’t hear us, but its us who stops hearing him. Just be still, and listen. Hes always trying to bring us home. No matter what we face he is always there. The devil can tell you whatever he wants, it only matters what God shows you.