Deliverance.

Out of all the things that hold on to my heart, God’s deliverance is most important to me. Because of his deliverance I am able to see who I am, and not what I did. It’s moments of weakness that made me.. There are days where I get so wound up, I get distant, I get overwhelmed, but he reminds me that He has delivered me from worse things. I tend to hold on to things in my mind. Like a broken record, it plays over and over again. But in the midst of all that chaos, Jesus is there saying “be still, I am with you”.  I don’t really talk to much about personal things, it’s hard for me because I don’t like being reminded of how the devil deceived me for so much of my life. See, a lot of our stories are different, but similar in a sense. From the beginning we are deceived with lies, so we grow up most of our lives either not knowing God, or not caring about Him. Then we go through suffering. A suffering that is brought on because of our sinful life. (or as I like to call it the level right before God finds us) and then we come to a point where we need something more than our selves to pull us through. Rock bottom. That’s when God comes. That’s when truth and deliverance comes. That’s when freedom comes. Most people who hurt turn to worldly things to numb their broken spirit. But in reality those things dig us in deeper. Some of us get so deep that we are no longer able to get out by ourselves. Those are signs that we need help. Signs that we need to be delivered. I’m thankful, that even now, when my mind tries to send me back to what God has delivered me from, I can still hear God telling me that He’s right here, to focus on him. I just need to hold on to him. And hold tighter when the enemy makes me feel like God’s not holding me back. The best way to describe it, is like drowning in an ocean of lies and frustration, and right before I let go of everything, God brings me up for air. I’m at that point that no matter how hard it gets, He wont let me drown. I know that I have a lot to work on still. I know that it gets harder and harder as your relationship grows with God, but I also know that God doesn’t start something he doesn’t finish. I know that I’m his and He is mine, and He goes before me to fight my battles. And I also know that he has delivered me from worse, so I can trust He will do it again.