The discontented soul…

The other day I came across a blog about 10 sins woman commit frequently. I was reading it purely for the comical aspect. Like seriously! Women are all over the place. To limit us to a “10 list” is not only hysterical, it’s impossible. Anyhow, as I went down the list, I started spiritually checking off one after the other. I think by the time I made it to the bottom of the list, the only thing funny was how humbled I felt. But out of the 10 sins listed, one hit me the hardest. Discontentment. Call me crazy or spiritually immature but I had no idea that not being content in life was in fact a sin. Discontentment is what I like to call a root sin. Which means different sin sprouts up from it. Sins like pride, covetousness, unbelief, rebellion, fear, and blasphemy (speaking falsely or against God).

As a woman, I feel like I am often changing quicker than my 7-year old’s attention span. People call it “spiritual seasons” but mine is more like “spiritual ADHD”. It comes and it goes, just like that. And if I can be 100% transparent with you, I’m like a broken record. I’m constantly telling my friends and family how I want to go back to school to further my career or get a whole new career depending on the workday. I want to buy a house because I’m tired of living in an apartment but hate how long the process is. I want to oversee a ministry like at my old church, but not sure if God has me on a break or if I really wanted the break. Even with my writing I can say I am going to write about one topic and then change it completely. MORE than most days I want to quit working and be a stay at home mom so I can be more involved, but at the same time would go completely insane. I am so back and forth with EVERYTHING; I make myself dizzy. I didn’t realize that I was so discontent with my life, until God shined the light on it.  

Apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:11 that he learned to be content in ALL circumstances. That he never came from a place of need. He was content with where God had him and content with all God provided. I felt so grieved spiritually when I reflected on that because I don’t know when I stopped being okay with where God had me. I mean I get it; we live in a society where more is more. But when was what God had not enough? Obviously, you always want to progress, but don’t cross the line into discontentment. Not only did I cross that line, I set up shop on the other side.

This topic kind of reminds me of when God freed the Israelites from Egypt. Most know that story about how they hit a low point in that journey to their promised land. They were very discontent with God and every circumstance they faced. So much so that Moses ended up not making it and the Israelites ended up wandering the desert for 40 years. I read that story and as a spectator I was in disbelief in how they were so ungrateful, so whatever towards God. Even my 7-year old can recognize that God did a lot for them. Then the Holy Spirit kind of smacks some revelation in you and you understand that we are the same as them. Different circumstances but the same sentiment. I can relate to being a slave to sin, and God delivering me from all my Egypt(s) as in more than one and being very discontent with where He had me and where I was going. I struggled and went around in circles with my faith, and believed I was better off where I was before God freed me. But I guess discontentment is one of those things that never gets called out for what it is, an ungrateful heart.

I guess I said all that to say this…whatever circumstance you find yourself in today, whether it be single, a stay-at-home mom, married or flipping burgers at Mc Donald’s, BE CONTENT with where you are. Sometimes we allow all that God is doing to be overshadowed by our current circumstances. Then we end up slowly being displeased with God and we end up never reaching the things God promised to us. Just thought I would share about this just to shine the light on it. Recognize that God’s plan for our life is bigger than things we face today. Just because we don’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Being content with where you at sounds a whole lot better than wandering a desert for 40 years, spiritually speaking of course. My prayer today is that whoever reads this, from wherever you are and in whatever circumstances your facing, that the Holy Spirit will expose all the areas where we are discontent and uproot it. That He creates a new appreciation for where we are at this moment. God bless you guys! Sending lots of love and lots of prayers your way.

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